Somebody said to me, "you're living the life I want to live". My response is that you can live whatever life you want to live but instead of just talking about it, you have to go out and actually do it. Scratch that title, this isn't just my March Mantra, it's my every day mantra & it should be yours too. Do the things you say you will. Do the things you say you want. Do all the things. Life is too short to only talk about great ideas.
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Recently, I downloaded dating apps and I don’t know why because the one time I met a guy on Tinder [he was close with a bunch of my friends but Tinder is just how we started talking] he also had another girlfriend in Seattle. I guess I’m doing it for the experience or just the sheer entertainment. I started with Bumble because I always hear about my friends going on Bumble dates. The thing about Bumble is when you match with someone, the girl has to make the first move and you have 24 hours to do it. Then, once you send the message, the guy has 24 hours to reply, or the match expires. So basically the response time IS the response. Bumble isn’t hard for me because I have no shame in approaching people first. To make your first move you can come up with a really clever pick up line like “Are you into fennec fox’s? Because I’ll be all ears when you respond” to an animal lover, or picking out the strangest GIF you can find such as a big polar bear pushing a baby polar bear into a hole in the ground and sending that. Those both got some pretty decent responses. But, what I found gets the best response, is when you don't try to think of anything creative at all. I sometimes start conversations with random statements like "You have great eyebrows" or "Oh, you again" and sometimes even "I guess I should say hi". Apparently guys love it when you show little to no interest in them. I also tried Hinge. Hinge is a little more complex and a lot more like a social media platform. When you set up your Hinge account it asks you questions from “Do you want kids?” to “How do you feel about drugs?” it also requests that you fill out answers to three random questions. I chose 1. Name a place you’ve never been – Ikea (this was the given answer, I was too lazy to think of something) 2. Where would you want your next vacation to be – The Mountains 3. My dream job if money didn’t matter – Travel Blogger. Some people on Hinge write paragraphs for their answers but I honestly didn’t care to elaborate so I used the shortest answers I could think of and the first things that popped into my head. When you’ve finished going through the set up process, answering questions and adding photos, the app starts showing you guys in your area that you can potentially match with. The thing about Hinge is there is no swiping left or right. You can send people “likes”. For example you can “like” someone’s picture or you can “like” a response to a question that they answered. When you send a like it then gives you the option to match with that person and start a conversation. The trick to Hinge though, is that you only get a certain amount of “likes” per day unless you pay for the app, but nobody wants to waste money on a dating app, so use those “likes” wisely. Basically, Hinge is super confusing and it does strange things like upgrade you to premium for free and act like they're doing you some sort of favor. I got 15 notifications in about 10 minutes. I did not ask for this. But Hinge was all like "no, no, don't worry, you're doing amazing sweetie". On both Bumble and Hinge you get a match, you get a message, you make some small talk and then I want the conversation to be over honestly. But its an application kind of world and I'm just living in it, so despite what I want, Hinge will send me these weird emails that say things like "Jacob and Melyssa, all this talking means its time for one thing- a date!" and I'm sitting here like he sent me one message and I didn't respond, what do you mean you want me to go out with him. If I do happen to respond, the guys start asking me things like “What brings you here?” or “What are you looking for?” and honestly I’m not looking for anything. I don’t want awkward small talk over drinks and I definitely don't want to binge watch Netflix with you. I don’t know why I’m here, I’m not the type of person to meet up in person with a stranger I met on an app. They must somehow get the idea that the conversation is going really well because they will send me their numbers and say things like “Do you want to text? I feel like it’s so much easier that this app.” No, I don’t want to text you. I downloaded the app so that I wouldn’t have to get people’s numbers and text them. When they do things like that I usually end up tossing my phone in the toilet, changing my name and fleeing the country. But more realistically I’ll just hide or delete the match so that I don’t have to deal with the guys who actually use the app correctly and want to meet up with me. I think I’m doing this wrong. I have no idea why I downloaded these. When you tell people that you are going to Quebec, Canada in the middle of winter the response is always the same. “I don’t hear that often, what are you going to do there?” We didn’t know what we were going to do we just knew that we didn’t want a typical vacation. We wanted a different place with European architecture, a different sort of feel, and a great adventure. And that is exactly what we got when we arrived in Quebec. Quebec is out of this world. And I mean it might only be a 4 hour plane ride away from Cleveland, but it feels like a completely different world. It almost looks fake, like something out of a movie. You know those Christmas movies, the ones about Santa and they show Santa’s Workshop? That is exactly what I see when I look at Quebec. Not even just that, but those little Christmas Villages that many people use to decorate their houses at Christmas time, shrinking yourself down and placing yourself in one of those villages is what it feels like when you walk through the streets of Quebec. They even have a designated spot in their city for street artists to create their art and in turn there is less graffiti throughout the city and it can keep that Christmas village charm. Canadians are so smart. Pictures don’t do it justice, and neither do my words, it’s just something you need to see for yourself. The first full day in Quebec we walked about 12 miles exploring every inch and every corner of the place. We strolled down the oldest street in North America, went inside a castle, and tobogganed straight down into the city. It was breathtaking in the sense that I was terrified and couldn’t breathe as well as being breathtakingly beautiful. The streets are filled with snow, and it’s amazing that people still know how to drive properly. (Side Note: most every street in Quebec is a giant hill). The streets are also filled with amazingly friendly people, and that is something I will always remember from this trip. Specifically this story: it was later in the evening and the streets were becoming slippery because of the snow from earlier in the week turning to ice and the snow that was falling, landing on top of that. We were walking down a hill to get to a bakery at the bottom of the street, it was a really steep hill and we were wearing boots with traction that was not the best. A group of locals were walking up the hill as we were walking down, smiling and watching us struggle, so I jokingly said “Oh, you guys do this like you do it every day!” Next thing I know, this girl is wrapping her arm through mine, holding my hand, and walking me down the hill. [This was after a man came out of his apartment and laughed at us, proceeded to get into his car and drive down the hill, didn’t even ask if we needed help. He can move to the States with all of the other assholes.] The hardest part about being in Quebec was eating. There were so many restaurants, so many different types of food, that you kind of just had to walk up and down the streets, side to side, menu to menu, until you found a place that had something you like. The other hard part about the food was that most of the restaurants only serve one type of food so its either, Quebec cuisine, Italian, Indian, Chinese, and if you aren’t in the mood for any of those, good luck finding a place that will serve something you like. [Side Note: if you want to visit Quebec, I definitely recommend staying in a hotel that serves breakfast every morning because that is one less meal to worry about. Le Grande-Alle Hotel and Suites is in a great location, the rooms are clean and a decent size, and they serve breakfast and have GOOD, free coffee 24/7]. On our second full day in Quebec we went dog sledding. And if you ever have the chance to do this, you must do it. It is the coolest experience you will ever have. The dogs are so cute and happy and they love to run so much that it’s hard to get them to stop. Not to mention the incredible views, dog sleds can go places that cars and even people on foot can’t. Another quick story of the kindness of the people in Quebec; the day we went dog sledding we had to go out all the way into the mountains. Many dog sledding places offer tours and they send a shuttle to pick you up at your hotel, of course the place we chose did not offer a shuttle service so we called an Uber. Little did we know, Uber does not exist out in the mountains, it only exists in Quebec City itself. We were informed by our Uber driver. He even showed us a way to change the address we were at in order to trick the Uber app into thinking that we were in Quebec City, then when a driver picks your trip you just call them to let you know where you actually are. Instead of leaving us stranded there to fend for ourselves he offered me his personal number and told us that when we are finished dog sledding, to just give him a call and he will come pick us up. Sure enough, he did, and he didn’t even ask for payment, but of course we paid him anyway for his services and for being a good person. We need more of that in this world. After dog sledding we went to the Ciel Bistro Bar, which is on the 28th floor of a hotel and rotates around the entire city in an hour and fifteen minutes. This is a really great way to see all of Quebec from up high if you don’t have the chance to actually walk through it. I don’t recommend having more than one drink there if you get motion sickness though, because like I said, it rotates. On our third and final day in Quebec, we visited Hotel De Glace, which is an ice hotel in the mountains. If you know me well, you know what a big fan of Disney’s Frozen I am, and this hotel looked like Elsa’s freaking castle. Everything was made of ice and snow! We even got a drink at the bar and our glasses were made of ice. This place was unlike anything I have ever seen before. Quebec in general was unlike anything I have ever seen before. This is just a quick summary of my trip, if I went in to every single detail this post would go on forever. But I will just leave you with this, going to new places and experiencing new things makes me feel like a completely new person. It fills my heart and my need for adventure. It also fills my camera roll and my passport. The next time you think about going on vacation, look into an unconventional location. and when someone questions you and says “Really, Canada? In the winter, eh?” Just do it anyway. This trip has left me wondering how I will ever top it. Now that I am back to reality it feels like I have nothing to look forward to, the reality of my life is that it is mostly work and not a lot of play. But something I have concluded is that life is too short to sit around and go through the motions or to spend the majority of your time dreaming about ideas. You have to make your ideas your reality and make your reality as good as a trip to a place that is out of this world. Life comes at ya fast, people. That’s the way it goes. Things happen that you don’t expect. Your day goes from being really great, to being ruined by one little thing, and then you realize that you don’t really care that much about that one little thing and you flip your day right back around again. It’s time that you start to take control again of your feelings and of your life in general. Don’t let life tell you how things are going to go or be. Having the freedom to do your own thing and feel your own feelings is the greatest sense of power. It’s time to worry less about whether he texts you back or not, whether he makes it home from the bar or ends up in someone else’s bed and focus more on meeting new people and reconnecting with old friends. Do your own thing and don’t let anyone tell you differently, don’t report to anyone. Eat the free pizza even if you’re on the Whole30 Program, see the sunrise in the morning; you’ll remember what it’s like to see the world still and at peace, wear fun patterned socks all the time, drink champagne at a dive bar, order four things at Taco Bell, and make it to your bed at 3:31 a.m. and don’t worry about telling anyone that you’re home safe. Big or small, no matter what it is, just do whatever makes you happy because you have the power to do so. The ball is in your court, you hold your happiness in your own hands. For the next few days myself and my built in best friend and travel buddy, my sister, will be in Québec, Canada, showing off our freedom and happiness and most importantly scratching that travel itch. Pictures and a post to come when we return! I don't give a damn about your resolutions because I don't believe in New Years resolutions. They don't last, and you should be bettering yourself all year, not just the first week or month or however long it lasts, of the new year. However, today, I'm starting The Whole30 Program. You can read all about Whole30 and everything that it is and isn't here. It's not a resolution, it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. My hope for embarking on this journey of health and wellness is that I sleep better, have more energy, clearer skin, and find out what foods work well with my body, and what foods don't. I promise not to post about it a lot throughout the journey because I don't want to be one of those annoying people preaching my new lifestyle, when quite honestly I'm not sure how much I even believe in it. I'm kind of just letting my crazy sister take the lead and I'm following in her footsteps, as usual. [I guess here is also where I will give a shout out to my crazy mother because she asked for one]. Though crazy, they do deserve all the credit for this journey. They did the research, created the grocery lists, and even found a group of supporters while we were in the grocery store. The couple we met have been using the Whole30 program for a year now, and their results were incredible: they lost a collective 80 pounds, they sleep better, their skin is clear, and they feel all around like better, healthier people. They did say that the first 10 days are the absolute hardest, so extra support and motivation is needed. It probably won't be easy, but it will definitely be worth it. Happy Whole30. Being in your twenties is just really weird. We are basically all the same age, twenty something years old, but we are all in different stages of life. Some of my friends are buying and refurbishing houses, some are moving in with their significant others, some are engaged or waiting for him to pop the question, some are single or casually dating, some are living in different states, some still haven't graduated from college, some are going back to school, some of my friends are even parents and raising their own children, some sleep in and stay up late, while others are up early and in bed early, and some are traveling the world and don't even have a permanent residence. Me? I'm living at home, working full time and coaching volleyball three days a week, I'm seeing someone, but I'm still an independent woman, and I'm buying plane tickets to places I've never been every chance I get. We are all twenty something, just trying to live our young adult lives, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. It is nearing the end of the year, but most importantly it’s my birthday. Another trip around the sun, another year older and another year wiser, maybe. You know what you see a lot of towards the end of the year? Lists! So here’s another one for you; 22 things I learned before 23.
22 was not great to me, if I'm being honest. It was miserable and sometimes also magical, just like that Taylor Swift song said it would be. I started my 22nd year sleeping in tunnels during a 10 hour layover in the Houston airport, so I guess that should’ve been a red flag. But I ended it with the best family and friends a girl could have. So, in the end, I guess it wasn't all bad. It wasn’t a glamorous year but it was a learning year. Here’s to 23. November is National Novel Writing Month, it’s when people from all over commit to writing 50,000 words in the 30 days of November. I pretty much did the exact opposite, I didn’t really write at all in the month of November. Mostly because I didn’t realize it was National Novel Writing Month and because I used this time to do some things for myself. The last post you saw from me was actually a repost. The first I ever wrote on 140 Characters or More. And a quick update on the name of my blog when Twitter changed its character count from 140 characters to 280 characters. People continued to ask about my blog name, so I addressed the topic. But other than that, that’s all she wrote. Literally. Having a blog is a full time job on top of having a full time job and also coaching volleyball on the side. You have to write the content for your blog, you have to capture the photos for your blog, edit the photos, and once you have all of your content thrown together, you have to promote every time you post. It is a great hobby and a great practice, but it is time consuming and has the capability to sometimes be stressful. You have to post at just the right time in order to get the views that you want. A slight 15 minute difference can make or break your post, I kid you not. What I learned in the month that I took time for myself is that:
While I was away from writing I also realized that I really do have a blog audience. One day I walked into the gym and ran into someone who told me that they always read my blog. I was at a friend’s birthday party when someone else came up to me and expressed their interest in my blog. I started this blog for myself. I had had other blogs in the past and other hobbies that I just never stuck with. So, when I started this blog I had no idea if it would stick. But it did, and it has evolved into something that I didn’t think it would ever become. As I mentioned before, blogging is a full time job. But, I don’t think I will be taking another break from writing anytime soon. I have a commitment to this blog and to its followers and I’ve never felt so determined to make something work. My first blog post on 140 Characters or More was on April 23, 2017. I’m determined to make it to April 23, 2018. So, I hope you aren’t sick of me yet, because there is so much more to come. I’m sure you’ve heard the news. Twitter bumped its character count up from 140 characters to 280 characters. If you haven’t figured it out already, my blog name comes from the character count on Twitter because I am an avid Twitter user. I love words and I find it exciting to have to rearrange and organize what you are trying to say so that it fits into exactly 140 characters. It’s like a game for me. I’ve been asked multiple times if I am going to change the name of my blog. The answer is no. Mostly because I am against the upgrade to 280 characters. They still can’t give us an edit button, but they can supply us with more characters to mess up? Thanks, Twitter. And also because 280 characters is still 140 characters or MORE. So, the name remains. The blog stays. And I will continue to write in 140 characters on Twitter. And 140 to 280 Characters or more, right here on the blog. Happy silver anniversary to the best parents and the most beautiful souls. As I’ve grown older you’ve shared more and more stories of your relationship. How you met will always be my favorite especially the part where dad went to Grandma Dell and said “I found the woman I’m going to marry”. But the more recent stories you’ve shared with me, the things I never knew until now, about the way you have always supported each other and made each other better people, fall among some of the best I’ve heard. Even better than any Nicholas Sparks novel you could ever read, because these are real. Your relationship is the perfect example of friendship; I see this every time we are on the boat, the most compatible Captain and first mate, and when mom dances around the house for attention and dad either joins in or just laughs along with her. The perfect example of true love; still holding hands, going on dates and celebrating Hallmark holidays, and how dad always buys you cards (even though you pretend you think cards are a waste of money) I know that you love each and every long, drawn out, handwritten note inside of them, no matter how cheesy it may be. And the perfect example of commitment; I would be naïve to believe that every relationship is perfect, there are always bumps in the road. But I’ve never seen either of you try to take separate roads when the one that you were on got bumpy. You sat down and talked it out and worked through it. I never saw you go to bed angry, I never saw you not speaking to each other, I never saw selfishness. I’ve only ever seen your commitment to each other and to your family. I can only hope that I turn out to be half the woman that my mother is and find a man as great as my father. And one day I hope that I’ll be watching my wedding video on the couch (maybe with my kids) the night before my anniversary, just like we did last night, thinking “wow, I can’t believe that was 25 years ago.” Happy 25th wedding anniversary and here’s to many more. |